crickets

I wish the crickets weren’t so loud,
Their constant song mocking me, daunting me in my lonliness.
I wish I was dancing,
my limbs moving in rythm with the heartbeat,
yet here I sit alone in a stairwell.
And there’s always somewhere to go,
Afterall I’m not homeless, just houseless
LAcking the 4 walls and central air that makes us all human.
I miss…
Well, you know what I really miss?
Air conditioning, wall plugs, music…
Hey, how many squatters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What light bulb?
Besides, it only ever took one of us to light the candle.
I miss my mom sometimes,
but only late at night,
when my heart aches the most,
when I don’t know where I’m gonna go,
and how I”m gonna get out of this
and I’m left alone with my thoughts,
and those damn crickets.
And declerations don’t mean shit
when your eyes well up at the thought of being alone and without a home.
See my home did leave me lost and aching to belong,
cuz I wear my home on my back right?
only instead of 45 lbs of green and black,
it’s now 83.
And the world?
The world doesn’t owe me shit,
though a kickdown every now and the doesn’t hurt
does it?
and those crickets,
they’re this like constant reminder that sound
does exist outside the voice in my head
that there’s a whole world out there
that doesn’t have to make sense,
though a little understanding would be nice.
I wish I wasn’t still waiting for someone to save me,
I wish the answers really did lie in dreams
I wish that I could have found God in that box,
But most of all I wish, that in moments like this,
I could find my center of joy and be thankful,
Join in the crickets song,
close my eyes,
and be home.

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