90 seconds

this was written about 3months ago

a 90 second glimpse into my brain

red white blue
red white blue
police police, fire truck ambulance
and that car
we approached it and all i could see
all i could think,
is why did an airbag deploy out of the top of that car
closer we inched
and i was faced with it
blood streaming down the side of the car and a limp hand escaping the confines of the body bag turned air bag
oh my god
then it spewed forth
the 2 tacos and a jumbo jack that i had just scarffed down
first thing i’ve eaten in two days
gone in a multicolored spray down the enclosed and suddenly too hot passengers side of the toyota trecel that is as old as i am
i thought it was strange an airbag out of the top of the car, but i realized too late to turn away that it held the lifeless body of a being who two hours earlier was in too much of a hurry to get where he needed to be safely.
all night my dreams morphed his limp hand into her
suddenly still and cold body as she allowed her 14 yr old life to succumb to the horros of a sppedball,
the blood scattered ashis brains on the side of the phone as i held it on the other ending
sending pale and shaken preayers to god that he was ok
he wasn’t
this sensless end to a far too short 15 years here on this plane.
he was gone
nightmares of that night
3 am phone calls
to say he’d had enough,
broken soul i couldn’t save
and the loss of a soulmate
i will never forget the sound of that gun
like fireworks in your eardrum
i could feel the heat from the other side
and all i wanted to do was go to him
all i wanted was to hold him in my arms and tell him everything would be fine
we were 15
so much life to live
too much to allow it to get the better of us
and he was gone
before i could say i love you
i ll be there in 20 mins
don’t do it
my mickey mouse was gone
a senseless loss
all because he was in a hurry
hurry to get where he was going
and the echoes of a blast i’ll never forget
the echoes of a hand that sealed my fate
to remember that he was loved
and he will never be forgotten.