I think I need to take a minute to let you know how amazing you truly are.
7 years ago right now, you were staying lots of places, trying to figure out what to make of yourself. You wound up in some scary moments, alone, afraid, and starving. Then one day everything changed.
You owe a lot to numerous people, that is very true. The family you have built around you. But listen, you built that family. these people chose you, but you allowed them to. And how grateful should we be for that? It isn’t easy to let people in, there was a point in time when that wasn’t the way you were going to survive. But you did survive.
Now you can live.
Now you make a pretty picture, in your underwear at the kitchen table. It’s 2:30 in the morning and you are baking cookies and discussing the psychedelic experience with your favorite obnoxious drunk over facebook chat. There is flour on your face, in your hair, on your cat. Your husband (HUSBAND!) is moving in and out of the kitchen making himself dinner. You are home from a long day of work at the job that you don’t hate. Home. Cooking in your own kitchen.
You’ve come farther than most who started out where you middled. You are a long way away from that girl who was sleeping on a piece of cardboard behind a truck stop outside of Amarillo. No one can hurt you here.
Congratulations on getting out of your own way. It’s a wonderful experience to move past the barriers your own brain put up against growing. You are the person who all your friends come to for advice. You have the couch that lost souls can find refuge on. You have the kitchen that feeds the hungry. You give that to the world.
You spend everyday giving back the love the world gave you. Giving that love to yourself.
I am so proud of you for forgetting to hate yourself yesterday. It lasted barely a moment, but it was there and pure and real. You deserve the richness of the world, I’m not sure where you picked up that you don’t. But you, sweetheart, are incredible. Someday you will forget to hate yourself for a whole hour, day, week, and that day will be everything.
This is good, this place where you are. It is a place that will propel you into tomorrow while embracing the yesterday that made today. Keep it up. You will get there.